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Lucky, lucky me.   
09:11pm 02/07/2005
mood: sore
Ok, so first off jeremy was here for a week. :] It was fun. He's in New Mexico now but he might be coming down in a couple weeks. :]

I went to Warped Tour on the 29th. Oh man, that was the best. :] I met The Matches and Thrice and me and Ashley met Fall Out Boy. The end of the show was the best, dancing to Motion City Soundtrack with Ashley couldn't have ended the show any better way. <333333

Yesterday I got 9 teeth pulled. Yes, yes i know- you're sooooooo jealous. ;]
It actually wasn't that bad. I woke up at like...7 something because Jeremy called which is good because I wouldn't have gotten up if he hadn't. We talked for a while and he told me I'd be just fine. Then we hung up and my mom came home from getting me food (pudding, baby food, yogurt, shakes, jello, all that good stuff. :[ bleh, yeah right, the only "real food" i've had has been mashed potatoes and half a breadstick) and we went to the dentist. I got there and we waited for a while and the girl (what do you call them? the...helpers?) came and got me and asked me how I was doing, i told her i was nervous and she told me not to worry, i'd be fine. I wonder how many teeth she's had taken out? So we get in the room and she tells me to rinse with listerine. Then..I layed down on this bed thing and she strapped me down and gave me a blanket cause i was shivering. lol. and then we talked about our boyfriends and what I have to do when I get home (watch movies, read magazines, stuff like that) and then the dentist came in and told me to squeeze this stress ball and he put the IV in me. ehhh :[ I had my head turned and my eyes closed because i did NOT want to see that needle. The last thing i remember was the girl said "The drugs kick in pretty fast" and i thought "That would be weird if I was like...wide awake adn then I just fall asleep" and i did. Lol. Then the next thing I remember was waking up and everyone was telling me I did great and there was like a bunch of gauze in my mouth and my mom came and got me and the girl helped me to the car. Then when I got home I layed in my bed and my dad helped me drink one of those breakfast smoothies and we watched The New Guy and I had to take medicine then I played Tony Hawk and then I fell asleep. I woke up and ate mashed potatoes and then we watched Miss Congenialtisfsuidfs 2 (however you spell it) and then I felt like puking so I went in my room and fell asleep. :] It hurts a little bit to eat but it's not HORRIBLE. It's pretty much nothing. At the end of this month I'm getting spacers and then on the 2nd of next month I get braces and you can all call me "Braceface" :# <--it's my little attempt of a braceface smiley. I hope you all are doing good and I just want to let you know I'm doing fine. :] I should be doing betetr and eating in a couple of days. I love you guys!


July 30th- Finch + Head Automatica + Rx Bandits
The Venue
3rd & Craftsman Ct
6:30pm $15/adv
All Ages

August 8th- System Of A Down + The Mars Volta
America West
201 E Jefferson
7:30pm $45-$32.50/adv
All Ages
Ticketmaster (oh my god, fuck that- 45 dollars??)

August 9th- CKY!!!! + The Knives + Fireball Misery
730 N Mill
6:30pm $15/adv, $17/day-of
All Ages

August 19th- White Stripes
400 W Washington
7:30pm $38/adv
All Ages
Ticketmaster (38 dollars. :[ fuck that too)

August 21st- The Used + Glassjaw + 30 Seconds To Mars
400 W Washington
6 :30pm $25/adv
All Ages

(hurt me, love me, gag me)

theres too many things i could put here.   
02:36pm 13/06/2005
mood: so fucked in so many ways...
ok..i really havent updated in like..a long time. its hard to write all this down because it takes to much time and its hard to type this because ive lost so much communication with you guys and i dont know how to say it for you guys to really understand what's been going on with me. no, im not on my period or pmsing so this isnt coming out of just a lame cry for help because im full of emotions this is coming from me, i just need somebody to talk to. i know i can talk to valeria about this but since shes going through the same thing we both say the same things and have the same emotions but i need someone to tell me something different. something thats going to help me understand, just something thats going to help me through a day something that i can think about and smile and not worry about everything else. even if i havent talked to you in the longest time or weve drifted apart. yeah..you most likely are like get on with it..i wanna hear..but its just..hard to start this..i dont know what to say and how to begin. like..ok..i just...found somebody. you all know his name is jeremy. yes he cheated on me and yes so did josh (which he still denies because i finally talked yo him a little while ago but thats a different story) and you guys think that since i forgave josh all the time that youre going to compare him to josh. hes nothing like josh. let me just get that straight. hes perfect, he doesnt lie, he knows his mistakes and he doesnt deny them, he loves me and i know that for a fact, hes not like josh and just says that he loves me but doesnt show it at all. hed do anything for me hes the sweetest guy ever and i seriously think that i love him. im in love with him. i know it. i havent felt this way. ok, so now i got that down, he left. when i first met him we sat on the wall and talked for about 2 or 3 hours non stop about everything. i remmeber him saying "Yeah but im going to be moving this summer" and it made me soo sad. i was like what the fuck i dont even know this kid and im sad. thats not how its suppose to work. so i told myself i wasnt going to get mixed up with this kid because it would hurt me in the end but of course what did i do? i saw him everyday, talked to him everyday just..you know started to like him. then he asked me out and i was finally the happiest ive ever been in a long time. we hung out everyday and i denied the fact that hed be leaving. which hurt me so much in the end. ok so..he called me one day and we were going to go to Arrowhead and he said "I wanna see you before I leave" what do you mean? leaving? you cant...but it was only going to be for a week. then he calls again. "ok..so..its not for a week..my dad actually wants us to go back with him..to prescott" ...what do you mean go back? to move? so...it was like..he was here..everyday with me we were together 24.7 then the next day its like..ok im leaving for good. it just hit me so hard i didnt know what to do. so we spent his whole last day here together, with JTAVEN minus the E and the N would be nate. it was the best night. after everyone left we layed under the sky and the clouds were so beautiful that night and the stars were just...so close and bright. i loved that night. i dont think it was just a coincedince that the sky was like that. so yes...the next morning i woke up at 5 just to see him (and he came at 8, silly me) so we said our final goodbyes and i shut the door and cried. i havent cried like that. ever. that day was the first time i ever cried like..with my makeup running and the sobs that make it hard to breathe and you just want to scream and ask everyone what the fuck is happening to me why does it have to be like this how come he had to leave andwhen you eat you eat so fast because food doesnt even have its taste anymore and so when you eat youre also breathing through your mouth so it makes it even harder because you have to like..hold your breathe when you eat. i dont know how else to describe it. its the worse. i printed out 2 pictures of him that merlina took of him and theyre on my door. im pathetic i look at them and im like awww look its jeremys arm. :) and i smile and tears start to form and each day a little bit of my heart beaks. then on tuesday im getting pictures back and theres going to be some of him..and ill cry and ill put them all over my door and walls and stare at them and wish he was with me and then on friday or saturday my wish will come true. hes coming home but only for the weekend and then he will leave and ill go through this all over again. then hes coming back the weekend after that and then it will be like that once again and then finally i dont know the next time ill see him. for 6 months hell be gone. maybe hell come down again inbetween all those heartaches and tears but it might not be the same. we will still talk everyday and i will still love him but im scared to death one of us will say "i cant do this anymore" 6 months is a hell long time. longer than i think its going to be. and then everyday ill wake up and think another day of this and im going to die and it will be like that everyday because he wont be here and i wont know what to do because hes my world and when you dont have your world anymore things start to fall apart and all i will do is stay inside and sit here and cry and i wont start cutting again because he made me throw my razors away so ill have to find soemthig else to do and when i find that ill still inside and do that and ill lose all my friends because they will start to give up on me because they never see me but then what will happen when those 6 months are gone...hes going to come back and ill be okay but i cant just go up to my friends and say hey im better lets hang out again and then it wil be like before because it wont be like before. i just dont see how you can go 6 months without it being like it was before adn then just all of a sudden. ok i gotta take a breather
man this is like..ok. im good. i just. dont know what else to say. maybe im really overreacting. this is the hardest thing ive had to go through. i just really need some words that are going to walk me through this.

so i think ill end this before i just..yeah. i think you know. ok. so...just..coment please seriously just tell me something anything that you love me that everything will be okay and then run over here and give me the biggest hug in the world because i need it and maybe after all that i can start typing like normal again and actually use punctuations.

(10 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

My last day of school...   
08:41am 25/05/2005
mood: happy
Ok, so I woke up and got ready and was almost late to school because my dad was like "Let's take your brother to school first when there's about 5 minutes for YOU to get to school!" so I barely get to class with like 3 seconds left. Anyways I get there and Brittany comes up to me and Jennifer takes a picture of us and then Ashley comes and we all walk to class. So...then me and Ashley walk around because we're not swimming because "we're on our periods" and I show her the note I wrote to Jeremy and the comic for Jake. :D Lol good stuff of me squishing his eye balls. Then she gives me a yearbook balloon, which was really cool. Then we keep walking and finally it's time to go and I see Johnny and say "Fees Shorty Fees!" because I'm gangster like that. Then anyways, I go to second hour and we watch the rest of 12 Angry Men and take a test on it. So then after that me and Brittany walk to third for the last time. *tear* Then in third hour (my last class of the daaaay) we have this big ass test. :( But after we were all talking and Jennifer was like "This is the last time you're going to see the class like this...with all these people in it and everything." I was like nope, no crying for me today! And Ted kept screaming out 20 SECONDS! 10 SECONDS!!!!! OH MY GOD 5 SECONDS!!!! and then the bell rang and he screamed like a little girl. It was great. Then I hurry and walk to go get Jake and then Valeria comes up and tackles me and I give her the note to give to Jake but she just leaves and then I see Jake and im like ahhhh valeria! but she was right there so she ran up to him and gave him the note. :) so yeah, then we were all at the place we usually go and patrick finally gave me my MP3 back and he gave me a big hug and said IM FINALLY A JUNIOR! i was like ahhh get off of me! so then me, val, ashley, jeremy, aaron and jack were by this tree just hanging out and talking about what we were going to do. We were going to go to Valerias house and then go to her resturant so then all 6 of us got into Aarons truck that only fits 3 so Valeria was on Aarons lap, Ashley on Jacks and me on Jeremy. We were all packed and Ashley elbowed Jack in the face and Jeremys hand was just kind of...there and it freaked me out because I didnt know whos hand it was. SO anyways we get to Vals house and we go in her room and Valeria, AShley, Jack, and Aaron go outside to get high and then me and Jeremy go outside and sit there watching them then we go back inside and we all go in the room except for jeremy and Jack and when they come back you can just tell in Jeremys eyes that he did it. They were all watery and red and he had this stupid grin on his face that made me want to punch him soooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. I was so pissed off. Then Im just like uggh im going to PV and Jeremy and Jack follow me so I run and hide behind this thing but then they find me and we all go to PV but Jack, Aaron, Ashley and Valeria leave and I dont know where they went to so I keep walking and trying to lose Jeremy. I go down um...this street across from PV and Jeremy follows and he's stuttering and like "V-v-anessa...w-where are yooou g-g-going?" Im like "j-j-jjejermy SHUT UP!" and hes like "i-i..dont n-not want to k-know w-where you ar-r-e" im just like shut up and get away from me. SO he sits on the corner and I go down to Desert Park and walk around that street and I call Makenna and we talk and I talk to Tobiah and I just started crying telling him everything that happened. And Makenna came on the phone and was like "Oh my god Vanessa, are you ok?! Where are you?! Do you want me to come get you?" I was like awwwwwwww, it was the sweetest thing ever. but i told her I was okay I was just dehydrated and hungry and I had breathed in the pot and the sun was like a billion degrees and I was wearing two shirts and pants. BUt so she said shed call me later to check up on me. i love you makenna. And then I went down Augusta and called Keaton. Lol you probably think I'm weird for calling you huh? So we talked for a while and I thought I saw my friends but it wasnt them and this guys started following me from Augusta to Palo Verde. I got so scared. I ran to the steps at PV and just sat there for a while and then I texted Ashley and told her where I was and she brang me water and we went back to Valerias. Then Valeria made me a grilled cheese sandwich. :) It was good. Lol and then I was gong to go to sleep on Valerias bed but I couldnt so then we just hung out for a while and then we went back to PV and Ellen came and then we got Lorenzo and then I saw MR. TOBIAS. I was like ahhhhhhhhhhh. So then we talked awhile and then we left. We were going to go to this guy Mikes house but me, ashley and jeremy went back to get Aaron. Then Sharla called and I didnt really understand what she said, something abotu Jack in the box or..i forgot. Then they went to Jack in the boxs or something and me and Jeremy (grrrr) went back and we found Aaron and then Valeria called and said to not go to her house so we sat on this wall for a while and this lady gave us water and then Aaron went for a walk so me and Jeremy talked and so I guess we're ok. Then they all came back and we went to valerias house and watched the greely video and i saw ashleys hand in it!!!! Lol yeah so then my mom picked me and ashley and jeremy up and they went home. Then I came home and did some stuff and then JTAVE minus the E came over and we went swimming. It was fun.

So that was my last day if school.

<3333333 vanessa

(1 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

09:50am 21/05/2005
mood: i miss josh alonzo
i miss josh. i miss josh. i miss josh. i miss josh. i miss josh A LOT.
i miss josh. i miss josh alonzo. i miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss josh alonzo. i miss josh alonzo. i miss josh. i miss him. i miss josh i miss josh josh josh josh josh josh josh

josh josh



i miss josh but i will probably never ever see him again.
i had a dream last night about him and i hugged him.

i miiiiiss him so much but i have no way of contacting him. I have no way of seeing him and I told him to never call me again and now i regret it.

i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him
in my dream i had the longest talk with him and i gave him the biggest hug.

i m i s s j o s h a l o n z o

i miss him

ive been thinking about him for the longest time. everyday day.



i remember when we made a promise that he was going to come to my senior graduation.


i fucking miss him soooooooooooooooo much more than anything or anyone. uggggggh.

and the sun burned out tonight   
05:44pm 20/05/2005
mood: embarrassed
Hmm i would NOT call this an entry. But today I made a total ass out of myself. I was walking to lunch and the sprinklers were on and I thought "Ill go around" but then I was like naah I'll just walk through the grass. So i'm walking just listening to my music and i go to walk in the mud and i slip and fall right on my ass in front of everyone. It was sooo embarrasing. And you know, it's always funny when you fall with your friends but I was all alone with everyone staring at me. Then I grab all my stuff and I'm covered in mud and my friend LJ comes up to me and he's like "are you okay?!" I was like ahh that was sooooooo embarrasing. And he held my stuff while I checked for where the mud was which wasn't on my skirt thank god since it was white. He's like "This is the times you need a camera!!!!" I just wanted to grab him and give him a hug because i was just so embarrased standing there but I didnt, i just got my stuff from him and went to wash off in the bathroom. So now you all know my most embarrasing moment ever. :)

(4 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

i love you and you never know what to say. do you even love me back? i didnt think so.   
09:46pm 12/05/2005
  xx shotgunsinner: Vincent, you're a staaaaaaaaaaaar.
ChemicalWar55: I am?
xx shotgunsinner: Yes.
ChemicalWar55: No, I am not.
xx shotgunsinner: You are in my eyes!
ChemicalWar55: Well, you are..
ChemicalWar55: BLIND!


Make my next year at Apollo better.

Every good thing that's happen to me turned bad. What's wrong with me?

(3 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

i was wasting away...   
06:00pm 03/05/2005
mood: what does 'jubilant' mean?
hey. its been a while since ive actually updated.

first hour is STILL gay as usualy except we don't change out anymore and if you wear sandals (which i have been) you have to change into other shoes and it sucks for me because there was this aloha bash at school and me and patrick went down this slide and i got a burn on the right side of my right foot and so when i put my shoes on it puts pressure on it. :( and then my friend was messing around on his skateboard and he didnt land a trick and the skateboard went SWOOSH and jammed right into my ankle on the LEFT side of my right foot. (Another reason for vincent to hate skaters ;) lol) so that suuuuuuucked and i tend to limp and everyones like "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED"

then second...nothing to say about that...like ever

in 3rd we were watching LA BAMBA! And on friday were celebrating cinco de mayo. we...have...to sing! we're gonan sing LA BAMBA!!!! para bailar la bamba se necesitasdjf una poca de gracia una poca de gracia parami parati :D yessssss

at lunch...man..i dont even want to go into lunch. i feel so i dont know...kind of ignored and shit. its gay. but matt will be coming (might) and we can dance lunch awaaaaaaay.

in 5th we were reading Bless Me, Ultima. it was pretty good and we all learned a lot of bad words in spanish and thats always educational.

6th we were working with chalk and messiness! it was fun and the teacher said mine was "beautiful" :D i felt special. lol wow im a nerd.

math....what is there to say about math? oh, nothing.

ok so thats all the school shit.

um...yeah, you know how we lost the election? like..me and brittany went to this meeting to become a delegate which is youre in student council but you just dont have the fancy name to go with it. i didnt turn my little slip in on time because im stupid but ms. macadams let me turn it in but she just said id get points knocked off for it. (because like only 3 people can be delegates for each grade and when you go into the meeting they score you on your answers and whoever has the most points gets it) so anyways i went into the meeting and me and brittany were really confident about the whole thing because we thought we were going to get it because of the campaign and what GREAT work we did on it. but i ended up not getting picked. i was just like..wow. i mean...everyone in student council was really pissed off because we didnt get the election wouldnt you think they would want us to be in it at least as a delegate? i swear..people these days are stupid. im thinking maybe its because of the points i got knocked off but i dont think so. i was just really pissed. brandon was like well you can always try next year. FUCK THAT. how much hard work and money and time did i put into that? and for what? to lose and to be stressed and cry my eyes out that whole entire week. and plus losing touch with you guys. i mean...to do that again. its just not worth it. well..ok it would have been if i won. but no. just...whatever. theyre really rerrrrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyy going to regret it, not to sound conceited, but they put this gay (literally) kid in there instead of me and he was in it last year and he caused a lot of shit. i could have made it funner. lets all rebel against them and egg their houses.

well anyways...

this thing with jeremy is shit too. i dont want to be complaining and everything but i just dont know what to do and i need some advice on it other than "kick him in the balls AGAIN and tell him to leave you the fuck alone!" i really have no one to talk to about this. like..him cheating on me came as a HUGE shock because he said hed never do that. ive been such a bitch to him since, but were still friends. i just have been hitting him and kicking him and reminding him of everything he did. you guys have no idea how much this poor little guy has been going through. but also...my biggest mistake ever-i still kiss him. were like friends with benifits. which i HATE. i just can't help it. he reminds me of josh soooooooo much. its horrible. i actually called him josh one time. i dont think he heard but just for me to know that..i was like...noooooooooo. i just dont know what to doooo. like, theres something in me that wants to go back out with him but then again i dont. its complicating.

tonight at the art show me and ashley won 20 dollars each for weston mall! lol <3333
MSG-D!!!! Ow, my stomach lining!!!
< ashley 3

i NEED to see you guys again. i just NEED a day with you sooooooo bad. its killing me. i miss you guys soo much.i might go to the fields this thursday or friday. but me and matt have planned something for this weekend. i told him i need to spend a entire day with you guys. its been TOO long.

well...i guess this is what has been happening. i love you guys sooooooooo much.

+And Sometimes Its A Sad Song+ < ahhhh do you remember that?!
<3 Vanessa.

(4 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

we live on front porches and swing life away...   
02:22pm 30/04/2005
mood: ashley updated my journal!!!!!
but ashley! im allergic to pica!


"why aren't you dead yet?!"
"i dont know"


(2 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

this is ashley   
02:01pm 30/04/2005
mood: something something
hi guys,
ha ha ha ha ha, this is ashley. vanessa left her live journal signed onto her name and now i'm signing in it. he he he, don't tell her i did this, she'll kill me, lol, j/k, she won't kill me, she would just give me a carrot and that will be all coo with me. ok, i gotz ta goe!!!!!!!!!

(hurt me, love me, gag me)

06:46pm 28/04/2005
  man it sucks being inbetween two of your best friends. unless its a big sandwich vanessa hug! ;D

Guess what June 29th is.

WARPED TOOOOOOUR. <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

The Academy Is...
The A.K.A.S
The All-American Rejects
Amber Pacific
Another Damn Disappointment
Armor For Sleep
Avenged Sevenfold
Bedouin Sound Clash
Billy Idol
***The Bled
***Bleed The Dream
***Bleeding Through
Boys Night Out
The Briefs
A Change of Pace
Dead 60's
Dillinger Escape Plan
***Dropkick Murphys
El Pus
The Explosion
***Fall Out Boy
The Fight
***From First to Last
Fu Manchu
Funeral For a Friend
Gatsby's American Dream
***Go Betty Go
Gogol Bordello
***Greeley Estates
Gym Class Heroes
***Hawthorne Heights
Hidden In Plain View
Hot Rod Circuit
The Kinison
Left Alone (BBQ Band)
Lordz of Brooklyn
Lost City Angels
***Matchbook Romance
The Matches
***Motion City Soundtrack
My American Heart
******************************************************My Chemical Romance****************************
***No Use For A Name
***The Offspring
Opiate For The Masses
***Plain White T's
Reggie And The Full Effect
***Relient K
***Senses Fail
Sha Stimuli
*****************************Simple Plan lol jk
***Something Corporate
***The Starting Line
Street Dogs
Strike Anywhere
Strung Out
A Thorn For Every Heart
Throw Rag
***Tsunami Bomb
The Twenty Two's
***The Unseen
Valient Thorr
Yesterdays Rising


And Say Anything is coming on June 26th.

Man, so how have you guys been?

I <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 you guys soooooo much.

(8 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

oooooh myyyy goooooddddddddddddddd   
06:25pm 24/04/2005
mood: <333333



dhfbvusdf <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

thats the cutest thing everrrrr

haha, shoot me.

(6 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

01:29pm 23/04/2005

i dont remember what happened all this week except for hanging out with ashley and jeremy.



wednesday-hugs. game? or that was tuesday.
"somebody ask me why im mad."
"Why are you mad?"
"i cant see my forehead!!!!!" <3

thursday-aloha bash.burn.slide.race.patrick.:)

friday! denelles party. <3333

adam, denelle, jen, chelsea j, me, patrick, sam, raquelle andrew, ryan, chris, matt, josh, johnny, benito, umm..that one stoned guy, tiana, miriam,shaneeeequasdifs and blah blah blah

394578356756498567576557489675675675634875 hugs from patrick. <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
then thrown in the trashcan by patrick and adam. grrrrr.

man, it was like a reunion.
i finally saw CHRIS SKELTON. ahhhh i missed that little guy. he pretended to not remember me. :( that was sad.

and jooooosssssssshhhhhhh was there.
not douche josh.
but josh cruz. and now im officially named "5 feet" by josh.
i'm "tight."
then he took my phone and put it in his pants.
"get it."
"fuck you."

then we all sat in the grass. and chris stuck grass in my hair, mouth, eyes, nose, shirt, pants.

"wanna make out?"
youre hot but"......no"
"fine! i wasnt even talking to you! i was..talking..to chris!!"

ewwwwww. :)

PLUS YOU HAVE MONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then we went cosmic bowling and got kicked out because we werent bowling. and since we said it was gay we could "talk to the police and see what they say."
so we had to wait outside.
and we picked rocks off the wall.
and patrick came back. <3
and gave us hugs.
and his friends were stoned and he made me go back inside with him to sit next to his "tired" friend and these sluts.
"you're friggin stoned huh?"
"huh..no..im..just tired.."
so i text jen "jen, come in here and get me."
then we go outside and
do stuff?
then patrick "leaves"
and comes back like 5 minutes later.
then we leave.
jen, me, denelle, and raquelle.
denelles house.
truth and not dare.
"what if a bunch of guys could hear what we're saying?"
we'd be exposed!

happy birthday denelle!!!!!

white grape juice is now my favorite drink. :)

ahhh i type in all lowercase letters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

except for CHRIS SKELTON, because he's just too coo
for schoo

i need a brittany day. :(
one where we sit around just talking and listening to music with a movie on in the backround and eating pizza because it's friday.
besssssssssssssssy is cool.
ok, let's not go that far.

(6 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

11:32am 16/04/2005
mood: come on...i think you know
We lost.

I just don't get it, we had the best campaining and speech and a ton of people said they'd vote for us so it came as a total shock. When we found out we cried really hard. This year was so shitty, and I thought this would make it better but it actually made it worse. Just thinking of our school being run by...well...THEM is the worst thought. I could just go on forever, but...I wont.

Jesseisthebest31: just know, if anyone is going to be handling my sophomore money, i'd rather it be u

:) <3

On a semi-happier note, me and Jesse (AKA JizzleBizzle) are the coolest and we're in The Jesse And Vanessa Club, if you want to be in it..well, you can't. But here are some raps we made last night when we were half asleep.

today at school i was a shakin
and the sun came out so i was also a bakin
and jesse comes along awakin
he comes up to me and says "im gonna vote for you!"
when chelsea and kayla walk by we all scream" boo!"
i go to the nurse and say i think i have ther flu
and jesse has a new arm tattoo
he hits his head on a pole and when he wakes up he says "who are you?"
Then Vanessa comes along and kicks him in the shoe
and he says thats not a nice thing to do
but valeria doesn't care cause shes to coo for schoo

xx shotgunsinner: we're so cool!
Jesseisthebest31: WE SO ARE!
ScarsOfTheYouth: you and jesse are definately co rapping in the album


im really tired, i think im gonna faint
Jesse ain't no doctor, but he aint no saint
i hate going to the doctors and they make you wait
The doctors drills and skills like teams in skates
when you go fishing you need bait
hope you catch something, I'm not doing this for my health or my mates
then who are you doing it for? your date?
Lets mix it up alittle and say for my paraKATE
well im going to bed so i gues you win, your prize will be a weight
It's not like I have enough of that already, lets hit the atkins and drop it like it's hot
no thank you, id rather not
those low carbs can all get it from the a 5-O named Jesse hes a cop
listen to me and jesse rhyme, like a boop de bop
And then here comes vanessa, the next big pop
but what about Jizzle bizzle? just like a rabbit, he can hop
He tries, like a batch of flies stuck on top
hey, look at this mess he made, someone get a mop
ya this rap is lookin good, like the honeys in my hood, wait did she say a mop or a pop
yes this rap is lookin good, you dont even have to mention and she didnt say either,jesse pay attention
well that's why jesse's still in school, and owes Mr.Erlynmyer a detention
i guess jesse is a little troublemaker, hes always causing tension
and that science guy wouldn't like it much me spelling his name wrong, lets not mention this just take it out of the captions
the science guy will hunt you down, after he makes a new invention
lets make a different rhyming word, this is getting hard not to mention the pensions
i dont know what pension means im going to get a dictionary
no wait, i know, ill just ask my canary
wow look at those rhymes she gots, rewind that and play it back it was hot, lets go to the lake and take a fairy
if we're going to take a fairy we have to take some milk, i heard that they all like dairy
that's right, them canadians love to get hitched and marry
but we're all to young to marry, especially when your name is Berry
parents must be mad at the youngins to name them berry, lets get a recount to that vote, there must've been a mistake it had to of been harry
recountin sounds like a good idea. why didnt we do that with bush and kerry?
that last verse was clever, how am I sopposed to follow that? with another clever endeavor? lets find another double r like cherry
i liek the word cherry. double rs and all. just make sure to tie your shoe so that you dont fal
fallin is like callin at 2:00 in the morning, no point to it seeing as how you can instant message and all
lol we can clearly see who the better rapper is seeing as all her rhymes are connected with the last line like dimes on the wall
instan messanger is pretty cool, liek jesse and vanessa, except vanessas kind of short and jesses pretty tall
Jesse may be built like a rock but vanessa's easy on the eyes, how do you like your martini? rocks on a mozzlehall
rocks on the mozzlehall, eh? just dont get to tpisy. youll end up getting drunk and be kicked in the balls
that's funny and I cannot stop laughing, seeing as how i got vanessa in my corner like a poporner football player, she'll go to a fight with a bat and brawll
well jesse its gettin late and your rhymes are gettin shakey, why dont you go to bed so in the morning you will wakey
Sounds good it must be 3 in the morning, and rhyming requires thinking so i'm gonna go to bed and dream of famies
............Lets try this again when I've ate somethin and got some sleep, looks like you win until next time keep practicin that ollie fakey
well this was fun, but im off to bed ill talk to you tomorrow when some cookies we will bakey



This is mostly for me so I can feel better-

Jesseisthebest31: THREE AND A HALF MILES
Jesseisthebest31: And when I get down to my street
Jesseisthebest31: rose lane
Jesseisthebest31: my mom calls me cell
Jesseisthebest31: do you want a ride?
Jesseisthebest31: SURE MOM!
Jesseisthebest31: ..............

Jesseisthebest31: what did you guys do
Jesseisthebest31: after i left
Jesseisthebest31: big make out orgy
Jesseisthebest31: Ah and i just missed it
Jesseisthebest31: but seriously

Jesseisthebest31: and me without my kodak
Jesseisthebest31: camera
xx shotgunsinner: ahh i need to buy a camera!
Jesseisthebest31: i need a camera...
xx shotgunsinner: i had a digital one but i broke it. :-( and cried
Jesseisthebest31: how sad
Jesseisthebest31: i have a digital one
Jesseisthebest31: with no batteries
Jesseisthebest31: i cried
Jesseisthebest31: when that green light
Jesseisthebest31: finally turned red
Jesseisthebest31: it was a sad day
Jesseisthebest31: very sad
Jesseisthebest31: and when that good-bye flashed by the digital screen

xx shotgunsinner: i have a bunch of bruises everywhere
Jesseisthebest31: I have one big one on my arm
Jesseisthebest31: have you seen it
Jesseisthebest31: of course you have
Jesseisthebest31: it's huge
Jesseisthebest31: like
Jesseisthebest31: how can you miss it
Jesseisthebest31: right
Jesseisthebest31: ?

Jesseisthebest31: we should start a club called Vanessa is the greatest
Jesseisthebest31: I would so be the fan club leader

xx shotgunsinner: oooooooooooo jesse just got a girls number! what a pimp
Jesseisthebest31: OOO
Jesseisthebest31: ya it's a first a girls number
Jesseisthebest31: woowoo
Jesseisthebest31: lol jk
Jesseisthebest31: write it on my hand
xx shotgunsinner: ooooooooooo jesse has a girls number on his hand!
xx shotgunsinner: what a pimp!
Jesseisthebest31: what can I say lol

:) Jesse is cool.

(10 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

Be A cOoL KiD. aLL ThE cOoL KiDs VoTe FoR VaNeSsA AnD bRiTtAnY!   
02:58pm 12/04/2005
  There's too much drama at Apollo. Along with backstabbers, sluts, and people you thought were your friends but they talk shit about you behind your back. (And tell others not to vote for you)

The campaign is going great. <3

fuckin douche.

(8 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

EvErYbOdY WaS KuNg Fu FiGhTiNg   
07:20pm 07/04/2005
mood: rushed
Too much stuff going on.

This election is all I can think about. Argh! Vote for me!

I want it to rain.

"Andrew, don't poke Vanessa with that pencil! Her head will explode!!"

259 messages (bleh.) and 167 signatures (HELLA YES!).


Vote for Vanessa.
Vote for Brittany.


Let's all kill Nic Hibbard.

April 27th + Taking Back Sunday + Jimmy Eat World + Ashley Torres + Valeria Rubio + Vanessa Valenzuela = <3

(12 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

"You know, if that guy in front of you was to turn around, he'd totally see your underwear."   
12:44pm 02/04/2005
mood: what to do today?
I hate when people try to play matchmaker. It's like Hullo?! What are you?! 10? Mind your own business.

9 days until my teeth are pulled. :(

The truth is, you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath
I'd apoligize for bleeding on your shirt.


(6 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

blahblahblah <3   
06:44pm 28/03/2005

talked to jake <3! *falls over*

"Jake, look!" *shows him our picture*
:Tight! I had such short hair back then:

:D it made my day. im so pathetic. :(



(12 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

TheHeartlessFail: ha you are so weird<3   
02:06pm 26/03/2005
mood: bored

TheHeartlessFail: dear vanessa,

How many times do i have to tell you?! Don't put your bra in the dryer! It warps!


Haha <3

(14 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

10:17pm 25/03/2005
mood: awwwwww
xx shotgunsinner: *Dances*
KeatonKTW: *dances with you*
xx shotgunsinner: Yay!
xx shotgunsinner: *jumps around*
KeatonKTW: *twirls in a circle or something*
xx shotgunsinner: *twirls too*
xx shotgunsinner: We'd have so much fun at lunch if e went to the same school.
KeatonKTW: Yeah!
KeatonKTW: Lol
xx shotgunsinner: But..
xx shotgunsinner: we dont
xx shotgunsinner: *tear*

Awww :(

(28 | hurt me, love me, gag me)

SuGaR, We'Re gOiN' DoWn. <3   
03:18pm 25/03/2005
mood: bouncy
KeatonKTW: I walked into the kitchen like running into the walls and was half awake and didn't understand what time it was. I thought it was 7 in the morning and I was freakin' out about why the hell we were still at home or something and that we were eating dinner for breakfast.

KeatonKTW: There was this was one little boy who had a chocolate ice cream cone one time!! And he like was eating it when he was crossing an intersection and he got so into eating it he got hit buy a bus! But he had ice cream! And when you have ice cream everything's ok!!! :D

KeatonKTW: I can't think of anything with this one so..:( But.. One time!! There was this little girl who came accross a porn magazine in her brothers room! And she saw a girl with a clit ring! So she like wanted one. But she didn't really know what it was for!!! So she went in and asked to get one!!! But she didn't get one! So she cried! But she was a stupid little girl who looks at naked women anyways! SO! Who really cares?! :D

KeatonKTW: So.. a white girl is walking down the street! She sits down in a Taco Bell to get some tacos! Cause they're good! And comin' down the street is... A Blaaack man! So while he's walkin' a piece of dust gets in his eye! And he starts blinkin' and she thinks he's winkin' and he gets a thinkin' cause she's kinda cute! So she's dressed in yellow.. SHE SAYS HELLO! Come sit next to me you fine fellow! They move on from there! To bust a move to a damn good groove on the dance floor while they were both really poor and hobos! So yeah! I don't really know! It was a weird night!


This car's automatic, it's systomatic, it's hyyyydromatic. Well it's GREASE LIGHTNIN'!!!!!!!!

:D I'm so awesome.

So aaaaaannnnyways!

My day's not worth writing about!!!! :D

(22 | hurt me, love me, gag me)